heaven

1and so i began to imagine
all that heaven would hold
could it possibly be
that a world in which i thought
went beyond anyones wildest dreams?

God is love.
And I believe that if your heart is filled with sincere love, and you preach and spread Love everywhere you walk, every face you meet, you will, undoubtedly, live to see a world that only the word ‘heaven’ could describe.

peace. unity. happiness. real, whole hearted happiness.
i am trying to keep my silly materialistic desires at bay, I must admit.
a Family, flourished wirh love and happiness, feeling like One, a sense of belonging, all that i’ve yearned for my whole life, to give this life meaning….

silly me. I know what my duties were. well I wouldnt call them duties. Somehow my hardships and nightmare realities transformed me into a soul full of love for everybody, wanting even harder to make others happy, despite my own tainted heart. Love – it was in me to give.

And in you to give. And you picked up the pieces of my crumbling hope and put them back all together.
And you’re still here even when I kept rebuilding my walls back up. When I was a drunkard – and boy something about you made me wild.
and im sorry.
and so here we both are, broken and haunted by our pasts, together we look ahead to something pretty great.

And so my one request is this – please dont ever leave me

you dont even have to proclaim anything
you just here, even still, and all you do and all youve taught me, is more than any words could say.

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I will try to work on myself so that this doesnt have to be frustrating for you.
and so I am
Im trying

But please dont fuck me over.
Im not sure I could handle that again
I take things like this serioisly. Like Im sure you know. But with your many past lovers maybe its not as important to you. But you need to know …. well… you already know.

Just Be.
You told me.
And then I realize
Im just fine.

 

Thank you God for finding your way back into my life, actually, its all thanks to YOU. My life with that alone helps me so much – biblical scriptures – I feel bad for binge reading the bible. I know its probably far better to read a chapter or two per day, but with so much curiosity flowing through my veins I simply cannot stop. The Bible has some powerful messages.

it speaks to me. But I know I really need to give more of myself to Him – even when i’d rather sleep or watch mindless youtube videos or, you know, chase giant mosquitos or skinny toothpick flies or whatever the hell those darn things are that give me quite the heebie jeebies

I remember I laughed in my parents’ face when they would talk about God and the Bible and this and that…. I feel bad about it now. And even though they may read the gospel, they or at least my mother is far far far from exercising it. I hope some light sheds on her. And although I had no relationship with God nor did I believe in the bible. Love was always a part of me, and guess what ? How could anyone resist someone as cool as you offering them such gifts.

 

Ah yes. God is amazing. Miraculous. and I want to thank him so much for all these blessings when I was just about to lose myself – again.

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