Ramblings – To Tango. Expressing my thoughts and opinions

So it takes two to tango, eh ?

Well guess what? I fucking hate tango dancing. Even more so, those who can tango all flawlessly and in a form of pure love and connection makes me sick.

Fuck them for reminding me I suck at dancing. But most importantly, the ones who blatantly prance around, supposedly unaware that a lot of us are failing fuck ups as we try to tango with our even more clueless and impatient counterpart.

Two to tango, HA ! Please..Sure, a new dance with a new lover is all fine and dandy up to a point.

To put it simply, Tangoing and my chosen partner lacked so many elements which were vital, makes Tangoing a happy and pleasurable experience. Ultimately though the fucking tango experience with said individual was one more so of guilt and frustration. I grew so sick of it all lately that ifreed myself from the grasp, control and restraints that this so called tango bullshit had me in.

Oh two of us were Tangoing alright. There was effort on both parts, but not long after, I grew tired of this dumb dance and the very person whom stared back at me. neither of us were perfect at the dumb unison of this so called tango dance but his attitude towards me and my flaws or mishaps took its toll.

You wanna fucking tango dance, go find some pathetically eager woman and see if you’re any happier then

Who the fuck even does that shit anyway? Fools. You’ll all be heartbroken once someone gets tired of the same repetition of the same god damn routine and your precious little pact is split. Or who knows, maybe you’ll grow tired of the same damn pair of eyes you are doomed to forever look into.

So I find a little safe haven, hide from all the wishful tangoers who will all most likely experience disappointment sooner or later. Clouded is their judgement, who wants to tango with the same damn person till the end of time? To my surprise, quite a lot of people. But really? Soulmates, known as the human beings you are meant to spend your entire lives with.. HORSE SHIT. There are far too many people in this planet to say that there is ONE made just for you. There are faaar too many possible connections that could be better than the last.

Anyway so here I can do my own little tango dancing, proving it does not necessarily take two to tango. In fact, I find it much more satisfyingly and fulfilling when I am in solidarity, no one to please but myself,performing my very own tango which is far more successful to me than my last attempt to tango and needing to focus not only on yourself but he who is at your side.
to ‘tango’ or to ‘dance’ metaphorically speaking, represents the relationship between the partners and their pairings. I visualize a ‘dancefloor’ representing the entire earth on this planet. We see relationships that look perfect on the outside as couples are all gaga over their boyfriend or girlfriend and envy the couple that no ones ever seen argue, the couple that is so aesthetically pleasing to the eye that for our own sake we hope such couples never break up so we can forever admire the physical attractiveness that seems so meant to be  . shameless PDA is widely performed,like since when do we want to witness young kids dry hump on a lamppost? Does anyone understand the importance of being subtle with your fucking PDA ? Sick.

So one can tango alone, building a positive relationship with one’s self, developing positive views on self image and self worth. I believe you gotta master Tangoing solo before doing so with a partner.

Anyways fuck all this tango talk. My fingertips randomly typed up the content cause in my mind it was cool. But its probably not.

Fucking tango dancing. What are we, Mexican? I’d rather find a partner who can successfully play, shitfaced and fun – its actually new, since the original game called, drink till you’re a dick, failed to reel anyone in.
NOTE !!!!! I am not actually angry whatsoever. The tone was meant to be more of a humorous addition, like when old grandpa sits and complains, and the family finds this as a form of entertainment, his choice of words silly, and has something to say just about anything. Love that old fart.
Such a weird entry. Amazing the thought process is, I gave this no thought and to be honest although I am not very satisfied with this entry, the amount of focus that came with it was too significant to just dispose of it.

Jump on the coocoo Train

[I booked a night on the wild nut nut train

And got an extra night free. 

I hurried home to check out just what I landed me.

The package deal quality was not one of the finest. But seeing what was included, it must have been more than modest.

The railroads were so pretty, glistening and sparkling in the light. Crystal icy snow tracks, I could not wait to ride


And when the train starts moving I make sure I don’t miss a thing. The train gives me such a rush I feel like a million bucks.

If it starts to slow down I take another road and it speeds up again. Boy, was that a fast one. I’m so thrilled I walk in circles trying to decide what form of entertainment to engage in.]

I railed another line of the fine crystalline powder, knowing it was the last. Today flew by so fast I have no idea what I did all day. Speedy speedy. And life’s so easy.

[I thanked the conductor. “Oh, don’t thank me.”

Sad it was over, but eager to sleep and be fresh.Thrilled he got away with the train in the house. No one batted an eye. This is good but I’ll be plunging back into consistent train rides in no time.
What the God damn fuck am I writing again? What a shitty metaphor. I am ashamed of this lame story or whatever you wanna call this. HAHA OH WELL

Time flies…

heres when the tedious school work ACTUALLY begins.

move those brain waves
ignite the awakening
spark up get those gears grindin
yeah, she grindin’ away

her hustle has been on point
now shes dying to prove a point
she know its do or die
but thats her choice

its time to be a big girl now
focus on pleasing even the tougher crowd
if they ever laugh in my face ..
well, i was laughin first and i’ll be laughing last too.

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encouragement best explained

so

whats it gonna be?

running in fields of ecstasy?

high green blades of grass

wishing on the feathers of dandelions

a feeling you once knew

a fleeting escape your soul creates fast

look on the bright side

your hearts still beating to fight

to keep it together

yeah, i got it all together

emotions opposite of the weather

maybe thats what we need.

a lover at the other end of the spectrum

how else will you conquer balance ?

and balance, we need

so desperately

to keep all things

humanity, society, some part of me

at peace.

so whats it gonna be ?

are you yet realizing ?

 

the yin and the yang aint just some decorative thang.

oh how i love the flow of the words stuck in my brain

in fact, missing

but the glass house seeks to destroy the lost and retained

a window,  a screen, a sliver piercing our feet

they couldnt help it

and so the apple they eat

but i dont mind giving away my fruit

and my pieces of loot

after all, i am nothing without all of you.

and you can steal a little bit of my spark

to light up your ghostly existance, self, dark

but i wish not to break yet another heart

am i fool and just causing more harm?

can i be happy, comfortable, and stable yet ?

karma holds no more debt

although free, i am set

to sit, stop and rest

and give up the trials and tests

i just want something, something for nothing

 

… woops ! this is supposed to be encouraging.

so to all those who are out there in the battlefield

i want you to remember that love is your shield.

and when youre broke and cant get up

dust yourself off and dont give up.

cause light is brighter than the dark.

know your purpose and your worth.

 

you may never go to some university

but trust me

the warmth you carry around,

your smile as you walk around

your mysterious aura

your beauty leaving others astound

such angelic ways you should wear a crown

touching lives of those who always frown

honey, dont be so down

blood may not be but God is proud.

 

 

just do what drives you to be happy in upside down town.

which is being happy. so be happy. and youll simply be happy.

 

 

 

I am Rushing Clear Water Woman

“Lets go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the Earth, the Sun, the Stars, all aligned

Going out is better than always staying in.
Feel the wind.

Let the Rain fall down
Wash away
Sanity”

Downpour on the trees
Clear the forests
Save the seeds
Stars tonight
You and Me
Who are you

Maybe a lesson
Maybe to teach
Maybe a love
Maybe destiny

Hope restored
Were not alone
Find your team
Claim your throne

Cause we can change the world

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Wild fire
Burns like beast
Water falls
Always
The Defeat
The Relief
Manifestations
Just use your imagination
Its all about creation
To form a brand new Nation

We are Free.
This is Freedom.

This Life is Serene.

Peace.
Plant trees
Grow
Give
To whats in need
Unity

Paint the future

It belongs to me
And im painting Love and Peace
Happiness
Restoring humanity
The Earth
Piece by piece

LET THE RAIN FALL DOWN
LET THE WATER FLOW
LET IT POUR FOR DAYS
LET IT DROWN THE BURNING
FLOW OF HEALING ENERGY

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Stars.

Yeah i wont lie

My worst enemy is my own mind

But its not my fault

Thats just the beauty of design

Fuck, im crazy.

Completely nuts,

They could easily throw me in an asylum

So i keep my mouth shut.

At all times, about everything.

You will know when its time

A tid bit of a secret you kept locked inside

Can be shared with someone special.

Like you. Us. He wont judge. Laugh.

He wont leave you hanging in silence.

Instead you will feel the ultimate energy

Of a mind whom all its life

Lived, feeling insane, suppressed

It lights up with joy and intense excitement.

Sharing our unwordly ideas and beliefs together may be manifesting into something bigger.

What happens when 2 powerful minds are combined ?

See, he’s further gone than me

But doesnt make him any less than me.

They got to him

I wish he learned what i did for survival.

Play Along. Laugh. Retaliate – dont let yourself be bullied. We are not fucking dumb, and im sick and tired of people like YOU making people like US feel like theres something wrong with us.

Humanity is awakening and theres no stopping what we can do now. Embrace your gifts, magic, light, let it flow all around you, let it move mountains or manifest miracles, i used to be afraid to shine but thats what stars are MEANT to do baby.

Can we put the missing pieces together

And figure this out

Us out

This
Then
That

All
Of
It
Out

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gLass HonEycOmB

Honey bee
Floating
Amongst thick milky clouds
It breathes in the tainted air
No choke.
Just sweet candy floss.

Sugar rush
It buzzes
Back to the comb
Back to the Queen
Back to its Home.
Turning the sweet
Adulterated nectar
Into a brand new jar of honey.

The Queen dips her dainty foot
The Mustard colored Honey
Inspected the thick glass-like liquid closely
Didnt look as light in color
Nor did it look as opaque.
Delicious as usual though, regardless.
The bittersweet taste of honey
Creeps up through her throat.
Far different from her usual honeycomb

She was very pleased
Demanded the secret ingredient
As she buzzed around the bee hive
Chuckling in total delight and surprise.
No one ever saw the Queen quite like this.
Full of energy and sang a tune
Rather than her usual grumpy hiss.
She gave all her fellow workers
The rest of the day off.
She was so happy, and confident
She knew it was a one bees job
To make the Farmers’ honey that day.

Was it by mistake ? Or perhaps fate
Whatever got into that honey, well
Was meant to be a simple mistake
Not only was the Queen Bee finally lifted out of what seemed like a meaningless life
Unusual experiences
Useless insights
She praised her fellow worker for the outstanding new design
Queen Bee finally felt just as she should.
Like a Queen.
And like any good Queen
Her and her fellow hive mates
Lived in happiness, helpfulness and unity ♡

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Life threw toxic nectar at the Queen
And so she made it into her own toxic dreams
Sweet dreams filled with sweet sugar
She dusted off her crown
Looked in the mirror
And put it back down.
What matters is my heart and soul and my inner knowing that i am Queen
For we are all each our own Majesty
Mastering even the darkest corners of our complex, frazzled minds
To wear a Crown would be driven by the ego
And the absence of ego is a blessing indeed.

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Do i get it yet?

I know whatever goes around comes right back around
sometimes it slaps you hard
Leaving its mark plain on your face
Or at times it swirls by in the wind
Barely leaving behind any trace

“Everybody gets what they deserve”.
Maybe the cards weve been dealt
Arent so ‘wild’ .
Perhaps our past lives
Or even great achievements in this one
Manifests into the quality of life we have now.

Ive paid my karmic debt.
I hate what feels like a curse
I never wanted anyone getting hurt.
“Queen of Hearts”
The people finally took them back.
I wasnt trying to show off a collection.
I wasnt trying to capture and crush them underneath on the snowy cold pavement.
But that it what i did, 5 years ago, everywhere i went, by simply being just me.

I paid my debt.
It destroyed me in the process.
And the destruction still lingers.
When night falls and im alone with these words
Im also alone with you.

After all these attempts
Replacements, bandaids, distractions
It has been months after all.
I guess i’ll just be happy
Pretending these words are your own.

———————–

Let us be free from the infinite loop of karma.
Those whose intentions
Never was meant to do any harm
And whose intentions have and will always be none other than good.

I do not wish to be untouchable by karma
But why should i suffer when all i ever wanted to do was be myself and help ?
I used to feel bad.
But i cant change my blueprint.
And i shouldnt be punished for that

Or simply dont let it accumulate.
That debt really sort of fucked me up.

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I know now

Dont let the truth
Get you tainted

Unfinished business
Left for later

Unresolved karma
Was I the traitor ?

Im sorry I
Didnt know this earlier.

How come I dont
But you can remember ?

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At least now I know who you are
Maybe in our next lifetime
Things will work out.
Maybe you just need
To search and dig deeper
Bittersweet and short lived
But i know that was safer
My ego tries to stop me
From seeing youre a faker.
So i guess i’ll go now
See you later

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Short stories arent working – not right now

How does one possibly find satisfaction in short, one liner two liner three
Short verses and poems and stories

Me on the other hand
My mind ceases to stop.
I wish it had a power switch
So that when i feel im not creating to the best of my abilities, i can turn it OFF.

One sentence turns to another because the firsf caused me to either realize something on top of that, or contradict something i may have said in the past, regardless, its traffic, but unlike traffic, its fast.

What was that ?
I think i just manifested again.
Right then and there my brain went blank and i, for once, looked around my space in the dim morning light, and just like that, the traffic stopped.

With that being said, i prefer traffic for now.
Afterall, what would traffic be without the road ?
So the more i let it flow, the more i expand and grow.
Spiritually, as a human, becoming whole.

Im astonished at where the night has disappeared off to.
Ah, let it rest.
It ran quite the marathon, im impressed.
Possibly beat its old record of 11 seconds.
Or twelve, you know, im really not sure.
Perhaps it was 11 point.. something.
When night time leaps into the morning like that, well, i know i must have been really enjoying myself.
Quite the getaway.

Ive never felt so free. I mean, as a soul being, i am of course ultimately very free.
But breaking free from all the mental chains that hold you back and imprisoned, (in which you dont even realize)
Fear, worry, need for acceptance and to please others. The need for someone to tell us, dont worry, this is all rational.
Ive come to terms with the fact that not everyone will dwell in the same reality.
Heck, im not sure anyone does in mine.

I stopped caring about that.
Oh yeah, i find pure joy in somebody complimenting me.
Even just a new follower is the most excitement i have ever felt.
Why ?

Let me tell you.
In a world where i struggled so hard to fit in
So hard to accept and simply just live.
Nothing was ever enough.
But this, this is enough.
Swimming in my thoughts and making these waves.
And for anyone who joins me while i swim, sail, or even float (like now)
Means they must get me at least a little. And i am not alone !

Becoming one with the universe is really confusing at first.
I falsely believed that i was something MORE than what i am.
But we are all one. We are all connected and every thing you say or do or think, is recreated somewhere. Not completely identical, although it depends on how you look at it and what you consider ‘identical’
In other words, each and every one of us are in sync.

So while every action has a recreation effect, it also has an opposite reaction.
Its strange to think about but this is just what ive found.
I guess its as simple as forces, like ions of a magnet.

We are all magnets to put it simply.
Your mind manifests your reality and your life.
Your actions and behaviors as well.
It all gets created shaping your very life right in front of you.
Law of attraction. Gravity, everything. Isnt it all just magnets ?
Caramel.

That was no coincedence.
I just dont know how to get the hang of it.
I mean yeah, its easy when your veins are flowing with artificial electricity
I want to get to this point all on my own, naturally.

Meditate so they say.
But it doesnt replace the thirst for blood
Wanting to fill the barrell
Push, sloooowwlyyyy
3 seconds and youre there. Literally.
Instead i choose to medicate.

But its better if you push through that first highway thats narrow dark and tormenting, really.
Depending on your method of travel
Youll want to be well equipped.
Or else you may fail to hit all the road blocks that were meant to be an obstacle, of knowledge, and your output. The plume of smoke you leave behind, mixing into the air, forever leaving its trail.
The best vacation is when youve been driving for three.
Accellerate, three seconds
Pedal to the metal, three days acccording to the clock. But when youre driving so fast it really just feels like you started your engine …. i dont know.. Time does not exist. All i feel is.. now. This present moment. I cant remember the past three days. Its difficult placing a number on a road. Well, a number associated with time.

Too focused on the road i guess.
No time to think about things that dont matter.
That dont have to do with staying put on the road.
And not driving into a useless shrubbery and bush.

While i feel like i probably drove into many ditches and wasted lots of time driving off course
I mean, why does it matter ?
Even when i review it later on and it makes ZERO sense to me.
During the creation of that content, i was in the moment. I was creating something, and just because its beyond my understanding does not mean nobody else will be able to.
The foreigners, the masters, the others.
The past, the future, whichever history it may be.
Whoever, it doesnt matter. But all i can hope is that somewhere, something, some day, will benefit from the imprints of my journey.
The ignition.

And you know what ?
I dont need anything but this.
The belief i have created to give meaning to exist.
THAT is our purpose.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning.”
-true words spoken by a fellow associate of mine.
Feline.
I want to help others
Without working 9 to 5
But rather
Until i begin my work and strive until im out of order.
From one location, to the next, and the next, and the next.
Unsure if an existence
Of the destination i so desperately seek.
But what if this is it,
Sailing roaring seas
Driving until i crash and burn into a ditch.
A captain of my imagination and existence.
This is what i want to be so please accept it.

Just dont expect more when im conforming to this alien societys expectations, their norn.

If i could make a living from driving on freeways or highways or back lanes
Forever leading to something far from my understanding,
Oh, i would be so thrilled,
But then i realize that balance would not be fulfilled.

3 times a month
3 days on the road
And that is what i can commit to.
I’ll do my best but every attempt does not mean success.

Just remember.
My goal is to help you
Create a better future
Because i want to
Because i love you

And thats it.

Compress, cram, jam. Traffic jam?
No silly. Jam for your crumpets.
You requested it.
But im more of a salt person.
Never did have a sweet tooth.
Are you surprised?

Didnt think so.

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