∆ Just more poetic blah blah blahs pertaining to my belief and views on the subject of ‘time’∆

Looking at the clock

A minute has passed since my last glance

But the clock’s arms point to another story

Subjected myself to a quickened time perception

It slips by at an alarming rate

‘Time’ moving at such an enormous speed, well,

How could you not question time travels?

When hours seem like moments at most

Skipping time, point A to B, like travelling, respectively

I don’t believe we could go back to the seventies, no

It is the simple awareness and perceived time, versus actual measured time.

Its all the same in our curious minds

Whether it be hours, or days that go by

It’s no wonder I hate the term ‘time’

its just an illusion, created for mankind

Fulfilling their needs to measure everything

Place a label, put a number on it

Numbers, that’s a whole other story.

Time is, at least to me, is more so a space

Between the beginning and the end

Of any given subject.
Oh hell why why why do I bother on this

Because I was bored, and I never have ideas on what to write about

I just click new post and it seems to create itself

I never know what my clueless mind might bring

Maybe a nice poem, or just the thoughts that cross my brain

Sometimes its good, even surprising myseld at times.

Other times it lacks, and its just me blabbing away

Yeah so, what was I talking about anyways?

I can’t seem to think while my thoughts are racing
So, time travelling, to travel to another point in time, like a magical time machine that can bring you into the past or future, on a large scale, no, no, no. Or who knows. Maybe. 

I prefer the term, time skipping, in this sense

Essentially we are escaping time, when time escapes us.

I doubt this is appealing to those who feel like they are already running out of it.

More for those who, have too much in their hands, boredom an everyday culprit

We get to feel fantastic while mending the issue of this.

Terrific. Its a win win situation.

Win win win, actually, because it also opens up the door to creativity and imagination.

So I win win win while winning, because the win is won in more ways than one, maybe more than three but any more wins might be a little excessive, so while I’m winning I’m winning some more. And that’s the best part.

Just a poetic rambling

A prick of the skin

I Watch as blood rushes in

Eagerly, steadily, I push it all in

A hit no less than perfection
One. Two. Three. 

In seconds it rushes over me

Warmth, a quickened heart beat

Tingling all over my body

I smile and bask in the feeling

Cause now my worries have no meaning

That’s what makes it so appealing
—————————–
I’ll ride the white pony for days

Living life in a crystalline haze

You live only once, they do say

So its no work and all play

No regrets or thinking of yesterday

It is what it is and its already made

I was born to have fun, I’m afraid

Unfortunately in self destructive ways

Lives like these, glorified these days

The highs and lows are all the craze

We got bored of what society portrayed

Passing the point of calling it a phase

Ran out of causes to put the blame

I’d rather be high, I have no shame

In a good household, there I was raised

A top student, I got good grades

Somewhere along the lines, things changed

Emptiness and a void suddenly placed

So a quick rush became what I craved

An ordinary life, I guess I misplaced

Extraordinary highs are what I chased

Until I found what suited my tastes

relapsed girl – poem about addiction

The poison courses through her veins

Straight to the brain

She can’t feel a thing

Focus and vision she’s struggling

Pupils angrily juggling

Empty spaces in her head, spinning.

Relief as she forgets last minute’s stress

She loves she feels so much carelessness

She basked in her emotional nothingness

Ignoring she’s created quite a mess.

Shes gone overboard this time.

Couldn’t stop and kept on going.

Self discipline out the window

Deep down she feels out of control

Life was too hard on her own.

She decided nothing cut it anymore.

Escaping reality again she chose.

She had forgotten the fun of the rush.

She had forgotten the safety of being untouched.

Only herself and her bubble she could trust.

But it just couldn’t last long enough.

She didn’t want to remember the realities of life that much

Or how she had already used up all the self medicating good stuff.

She didn’t want the sun to come up

Forcing to find ways to hide and cover it all up

She’s ever only felt regret if caught.

Until the poison wears off and she begins to feel negative thoughts
Creep in like bellowing clouds of pollution, interrupting, and dirtying

Her comrortably empty mind, serene, at some sort of peace

She couldn’t understand why good things couldnt just be

It was a cruel joke, as such delights must become deceased.

And pretty soon her bubble will float away.

Pretty soon she’ll be faced with the return of her senses

Irritation and depression will set back in

This time unable to keep feeding her demons

It just could never be enough satisfaction

It never was nor would be, and this was one bad addiction

So here came another day of pretending. Lost count of such days it had been.

Shifting her attention back to the high, she shouldn’t start to worry just yet.

Plenty of time until the moon sets

Plenty of time to avoid people and conversations.

Plenty of time to forget that just one time is often permanent.

Plenty of time to hide the unattractive evidence

Plenty of time to brainstorm new excuses.

But nothing to worry about, not just yet.

She clings onto the numbness 

Fighting as time stole her artificial happiness

When it’s all said and done, it will be fine. She is convinced.

Fooling no one, not even her very self.

But who cares when its no work and all play

And when there’s a will, there’s a way.

She tries to comfort herself knowing she’s done this thousands of times before.

When the party comes to an end, so does the entire world

It ends upon its return.

Desperation to avoid the world sets in.

So what if she’s raised suspicion

So what if all the money’s missing

So what if the comedown felt crippling

Because right then and there, nothing really mattered anymore.

Nothing ever really did.

She wishes she could live rather than exist.

Forever a void needing to be filled.

The fulfillment, that’s what she craved. That’s what mattered to her.

And that’s when she remembered, it was about that time.

How ironic it is, filling a space by emptying a space.

Apathy

She don’t feel a thing no more, 

Emotions have run dry.

A beautiful soul with so much light 

It all has seems to have died.

Raw and real, life of the party 

Turned superficial sad, dull and quiet.

All she knows is vanity. Looking good saves her sanity.

 Suddenly it dawned on her that she wasn’t so special anymore. With no more spark she became just like everybody else.

A cold hearted, materialistic boring average girl. 

Pretty and numb

Gave up on love 

Days go by slow

With nowhere to go 

When the amusement  train rides the crystal railroads once in a blue moon only, hey, conductor? Update the schedule will you? We seem to be eager to ride and ride and ride as much as we can get away with….

Should I eat today

Another morning 

Another glance at the mirror 

Another breakfast she will skip

Another lie she’ll have to slip

Another workout to lose the hips

Another battle in the kitchen 

Stomach growling but she won’t listen

She wants bread but sips tea instead.

Another walk through the city.

Another boring afternoon with coffee.

Another restaurant that teases her hunger.

Another smile knowing she’s not eating and getting fatter

Her little body moans and groans for dinner.

But her mind is always there to stop her.

She reaches for the lettuce instead, it’s so much safer.

She grazes all evening until she gives in.

Just one little snack to ease this craving.

Then another and another until there’s no escaping 

She’s trapped in a hell and its called binging 

And she reaches the toilet to fix her mistake.

Hoping she rid of every calorie on that plate

Throat is sore, but she lights up anyway.

Cigarettes are best after throwing that stress away..

She swallows her pills, finally this nightmare can be over.

And in the morning, relief.. 

She weighs herself. The scale. Her best friend the monster.

Lost more weight. Down with the pounds. 

That evil number decreasing is her happiness and power.
All time low. In more ways than one. She waits until she can feel again. 

To live In apathy with very little dull excitement is such a sad thing.

For now she hides secrets that keep things interesting.

Accessorize with collarbones. And hip bones make quite the comfortable hand rests.

FIRST OF ALL – if youre getting a rise out of roasting me, laughing and cussing while you sit and play me on your ‘VLT’s…

Well, too bad. Because I used to love you. And whoever is actually standing beside me in the end… Well, I love you too. Always have always will.

(We already know who the helper is, secretly. The ‘FOB’, the’Naggery’ and ‘Grand scheme fuckery’ will begin to cease. Like a disease.) – Humankind will move forward.

everything will be alright.

im being pulled from side to side
fighting so hard to walk a straight line
sometimes this crazy world leaves me terrified
trying so hard not go out of my mind

scared of the truth, cause maybe it just lies
im dying to keep the warmth that engulfs me inside
but my heart and my trust has been completely destroyed

im gonna keep it together, i’ll search for any sign
that what i am doing is completely alright
the future is unknown, but i cant lose sight
must always recall of.my beauty and light

God, please help me to reclaim all that I’ve lost, and all that I need. Show me the truth and the truth I shall heed. Amen.

heres when the tedious school work ACTUALLY begins.

move those brain waves
ignite the awakening
spark up get those gears grindin
yeah, she grindin’ away

her hustle has been on point
now shes dying to prove a point
she know its do or die
but thats her choice

its time to be a big girl now
focus on pleasing even the tougher crowd
if they ever laugh in my face ..
well, i was laughin first and i’ll be laughing last too.

ride

can we do that again sometime
where we fall to the stars and touch the sky
the citizens watched with utter delight
counting clouds and running  through the traffic lights
somehow on the ground but im seeing from somewhere high
my feet in the air, im floating, hovering, wait,
levitating

ive never felt such exhilerating heights
how was that the most adrenaline and fun ive experienced quite possibly ever.

in this scary world id want nothing than for us to be best friends, work eachother towards our goals nobody else could ever understand, empower, laughter, fucking madness completely perfectly intertwined thus connecting a large piece of the puzzle we both yearn to finish.
i know you. i know you because i am that as well. the chaos and madness and pleasure of it all. my little reality i thought was my own but indeed i have found another inhabitant.

i cant wait.

lets be fearless and do something …. well, maybe we should keep it a secret. 😉

waiting

waiting for you to snap back to reality
waiting for this proof that im never even gonna see
waiting until the day where you finally look and notice me
i wait until the darkness fades and i get to reclaim all of my broken dreams

cause right now my life’s lacking meaning and im incomplete