it really is, a revolution

“The pornography made me do it
So those drugs that got us high
Was the thoughts of revolution
They’ve been poisoning my mind
So i’ll walk you down into the water
But you keep coming up for air
All those people, they don’t give a damn
They just stood around and stared
And i said,
Love will save the day”

“were talking about a society in which will lead no roles
other than those earned
or those chosen
were really talking, about humanism.”

This is a song by David Usher that I have forgotten about for a little while. The lyrics move me in a way that makes me feel some type of faith and hope and  goodness in myself. and my dreams.

I want and need everyone to know that they are capable of love, no matter who you are. I like to match my beliefs with the Disneys famous tale of Beauty and the Beast.

Love is life. Love is divine, love is so damm good that it makes you high. Literally. Im often high on life through Love.

Throw ego, pride, resentment, doubt and fear straight out the window !
Never close yourself off from Love. It at least for me gives my entire world meaning. it completes me, and its far from rational but I just know that Love is not something anyone should treat as a battle.

embrace it, master it, cherish it and conquer it.

its heaven.

so lets let our hearts be the leader. the mind isnt always all that attractive…

so anyways I really just want people out there to know that you should always embrace love rather than make the mistake of refusal which wont do any good. If Belle was able to teach love and love a Beast then anyone can. Love, that is. Not saying anyones a beast. But people make it so much more complex than it needs to be.

when theres nothing left to give just keep giving love. I dont care who you are, we all want to be loved, cared for, and cured of our loneliness.

But thats just me, im made up of love entirely, but no I take that back cause thats a lie.
I think love is able to cure monstrous demons that live inside each and every one of us.

And sometimes you have to lose someone to see the whole picture.


i never knew this pain would bring me such quick insight and growth from a lesson

id never forgive myself if i never tried

so try try try keep trying, its all about trial and error but embrace error as it teaches you and helps you. any glimmer in your soul that tells you to do so I think should not be ignored.

But let go of the fact that you dont know what the outcome will be.
pray for the best but prepare for the worst they say.

read your bible too, gosh darnit

Praise God for the Gift of Love.

God is pretty awesome.

I am Rushing Clear Water Woman

“Lets go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the Earth, the Sun, the Stars, all aligned

Going out is better than always staying in.
Feel the wind.

Let the Rain fall down
Wash away

Downpour on the trees
Clear the forests
Save the seeds
Stars tonight
You and Me
Who are you

Maybe a lesson
Maybe to teach
Maybe a love
Maybe destiny

Hope restored
Were not alone
Find your team
Claim your throne

Cause we can change the world


Wild fire
Burns like beast
Water falls
The Defeat
The Relief
Just use your imagination
Its all about creation
To form a brand new Nation

We are Free.
This is Freedom.

This Life is Serene.

Plant trees
To whats in need

Paint the future

It belongs to me
And im painting Love and Peace
Restoring humanity
The Earth
Piece by piece




If fear creeps up
Ignore it.

A sudden surge of energy?
Embrace it, make it.


Does something bring joy?
Save it and keep it.


Something driving your soul?
Jump on and ride it.


Do you feel enslaved?
Get rid of it.


Is there love in your heart ?
Go after it.


The road to Madness,
Are you there yet ?


Are they calling your name?
Time for your service.


Feeling down, broken ?
You’ll feel fine in minutes.


Filled with doubt and losing hope ?
Get back up on the slope.


Noise and distractions ?
Drown them.


Manifestation ?
Learn from it.


A split flame ?
Two in one, the same.


Falling off the train ?
Contemplate again.


Feeling drained ?
Dont be afraid.


Fire going out ?
Time to slow down.


Heavy heart and heavy eyes
Lay down a little while.


“Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane.”
-‘born to die’ lyrics.

I’ll quit before i fall in too deep.
Before i am no longer me.
Sleep. Second dream.


Too high, cant come down

“She’s something mystical in colored lights
So far from typical but take my advice
Before you play with fire do think twice
And if you get burned don’t be surprised

Got me lifted, drifted higher than the ceiling
And ooh, baby, it’s the ultimate feeling
You’ve got me lifted, feeling so gifted
Sugar, how you get so fly?”

-‘Sugar’ lyrics.


I float through the streets

Smile at every face i meet

Striding on air with my feet


My heart is not taintef.

Im aware of the ugliness

I see this whole space naked.

You know the situation.


I hide away for a few days.

Speed through time in a haze

Alone, numb, absurd craze

Its the only real escape.


My tiny corner.

Felt like home now.

Faster than i know

Springs gone and it starts to snow.


Now i lay here

My thoughts, they come without invite.

I feel you with me

But youre nowhere in sight.


Why hello, its me again.

Just me myself and i.

Bulging spider eyes.

I was told big girls dont cry.


I know that when your world


In the palm of your hand

Just when you thought

You had it all under control


So here i shall rest my head

Under yellow skies and fire sunsets

I wont be scared, i wont bend

I know ill be alone till the end.


You casted your cruel spell.

It worked im sure you can tell.

You see, i didnt express things well.

Your own personal hell

But im not able to carry such a shell.


Its all going wrong.

Lust, friendships, gone

But somehow i am carried along.

So to you, i say, so long my love

We had only just begun

But all i hope is you stay strong.


I burn my candles all night

Flame in the dark

It feels so right

I can only relax when its black

Tiny spark for a little light.


We’re better off on our own.

I know its bitter and cold

I know nothing never lasts

A city with a cruel forecast.


I do what i want when i feel like it

So i cave in and take another hit

That one was perfect

What a rush, what a lift

Up to the clouds my body drifts


Downtown pedestrians

I am among them

I hold my head high

Passing each stranger saying hi

Oh i remember you !!!

From work, right ?

From back in time

From our ecstatic heights


You know

All day long ive contradicted.

Who you were, searching conclusion

You threw it in my face

Perhaps we both played our own game

From everyone i’ll forever run away


Life is a story. A novel. A movie.

Youre allowed to make your own ending

I wont ever live life, descending

I am me, theres no pretending

Hearts i am mending

Messages i am sending

Do you hear me ?

But everything you hold onto is condescending.


Someday i will understand.

For now i follow no such plan.

Take in the air and breathe.

Feel the soil under your feet.

I think i’ll be fine with just me

Thats how its always been

Walking aimlessly and incomplete

Oh, baby.


What goes around comes back around.

Keep an eye on things you take

Things you break

Even innocence has to pay.


Starry galaxies i play in, paint

Im looking for my milky way.

Oh father, wont you show me the way ?

Come take me away

No, because

I must love another day.


I know the scenario all too well

For my magic the people fell

Karmas a harsh bitch all too real

Got me bad. Hurting quite well.


You either got the goods or you dont.

People try, but only i can own.

They try to steal it but they wont.


Hearts racing driving like an aninal

Im feeling like a cannibal

Dont give in baby, no

Ride the ocean carefully and slow


All the souls in the world

I still want yours

Never did i feel

Felt like that before.

Unafraid, my authentic self.


Been running in the field

Yeah, the glass road

Far too long now.

I sit down to smoke.

Thick milky clouds

Reminds me of something i used to know.


Im tripping ?

Its your fucking fault

I hold on though, slipping


Yeah, you cant mess around with the living.


Tonight i ponder

Its midnight

Others, too, psychotic

Their demons play well with mine

Adding to my fuel and tactics

Enemies turning into friendly

Familiar and fun add ons

Yes, hold on my hand

Its so intriguing there.


Turn out the light now

Its playtime now

Beautiful and menacing

Tonight we dont need no sleep.


Starry eyes


Twin of the Pacific

I dare you to be specific

Whered you learn those tricks ?

I want to know what makes you tick

Youre so fucking hard to resist

Im ready for this.






Isnt it funny?

I find it kind of funny
All your life
Youve searched
For something
Something that feels like home.

You search far and wide
High and low
Broad and far
Friends and foes

And its funny
How everything youve ever wanted
has been…
Right under your nose.
All along
Years and years
A decade
With nothing but fears
And then its.clear

Why havent you acknowledged
Your very own
The one
Youve been dreaming of
Your best friend
Lover ?
I couldnt comprehend
Until fate came to its end
Showed us the way
To our happy end

Is it true
Do you love
Me like
Through it all
Thick and thin
Good and bad
Black and white
Dark and light
But fear and fright
Took over
But only the strongest
Can conquer

So what will it be?
You and me?
Do you love me?
Even when im funny ?
The drugs and the phoney ?
That you know it aint me ?

You see right through me
I see all perspectives
My eye and your perseverance
Your fears and my
But one day
Can you promise me?

It will be you and me
Your darkness
And mine
And our light
Perfectly unite
Peace and love

Im sorry
Im high
This is me
The depth
Of the chemical death
I pour unto myself
For my creative health
But now you seem to know
I dont need  no help

Why am i writing
About this
Were just friends
Right ?
You created this
A crisis
Dont break this
A heart already
Full of mistrust

Do you know
The life ive lived
Sadness, sorrow,
Lows and Lifts

Are you home
Is this
Just another
Let down
Make me
Our crowns
We can wear
And together
We can be forever

Grow old
Drink from the fountain of youth
Well, i’ll take you there.

But we both know where it is
Dont we?


You surprised me.tonight.
Please dont leave me
In this life.
My best friend
My other half
My honest sight
You tell me
I choose
I choose

I always.sort of have.

Thank you for all these years
By my side
Thick and thin
And terrifying
Moments of life

Are you the last
The game
Of my

I love you.

More than anything
And anyone
Whos ever made appearences
In my show
My game of fun
Lame and dumb

I think to myself
He must prove
The love
The real
He fell
I cant tell
His heart
It doesnt swell
Does it ?

Like the others
“Oh, shes a special one
Colorful and care free
Fearless and full.of fire
That even her lies are pretty
Pretty as hell
Its just what she does.

Takes hearts
Steals souls
Theyll remember
Her name
Its cold
Say it
Do you miss me
Are you proud
Is this what you wanted
And now
I am just another face
In another crowd

It wont be allowed.
After a decade
Far too long
You cant walk away
Dont mark my name
Into the clouds
To fly away
With the wind
Am i high?
Off of artificial
Fake ass compounds

Oh, id love to be yours
I dont know when
Perhaps not know
But in 10 years
10 years.from now
When im dead
Dead and.gone
Remember me

I am
A ghost
A busy

Without a soul

Are you my enemy
Or are you the unity
In which my body
And heart
Which has turned
Black, Dark

Day dreams

Do you think you know me ?

Take a second guess.
My mind is a never ending
And sad abyss

Oh, you love me
But you dont know any of this
Im happy
Life is bliss

And fulfillness

Take my hand
Grab your rocket ship
Leaving for venus
Its you
Its me
And youthfulness

Forever young
Lets.leave this.all behind
And move.up on the spectrum

Pardon me
For grammar errors
Of this whole letter
“These words are my heart and soul”
You seek attentiion ?
Well heres your satisfaction.

Important information.
Logical realization.
No, wait.
Nothing in this world is
Nothing but fiction

What we dont know
Human beings
History repeating
Over and over


Its balance

Without this
It would be
And without life.
Think before you fight.
Without darkness
There is no light.

Without confidence
There is no fright

Without sadness
There is no happiness
Skies that are bright

Without daylight
There is no night

Without wrong
There is no right

No sun
No moon
Just dust

Without black
There is no life.

Without death
There is no life.

Live your life.
Be who you want.

I wont waste my life being a color.
A shade
A front

I am me

You are you

We shall be


In unity.


Hi !!! Good night.


Youre weird
Im weird too
We can live.forever young
Forever fools
Like children
If we want to.

I love you


These words are my heart and soul.

“I want you to know With everything i wont let this go These words are my heart and soul I’ll hold onto this moment you know Cause i bleed my heart out to show And i wont let go.” 1. Depth. Free of anxiety. Gentle. TPB. Artistic. Passion. Words of cheese. Understanding of the chaos. Healthy. Inexperienced. Damaged. Paranoid. Depressed. Attention seeking. Selfish convenience. Family oriented. Mother relationship. Connection at a further level 2. Slow. Tons in common. High assurity. No questioning. Clingy. Great experience. Motivated. Possibly superficial. No artistic value? Unnappreciative of meaning. Rushing. No real depth. Jealous. Misunderstands space. Little nervous. Strong. Big. Safety and secure. Does not fuck around. No second guesses. Short term. 2 lessons – a million new ideas, desires and understanding of what i need. Bad. Better. Please bring the best, now. Or was it here all along ? Babe, as time goes on, it doesnt feel so wrong Im not perfect enough though, and, youre mean You understand it, but only to a degree And why are you so ashamed of me Youre lucky this planet hates me. You almost lost me. In reality you dont deserve me. I hope one day we both change. For the better. So that our lifelong friendship turns into our lifetime dream. We are the very same. Yet total opposites. And now its dawning on me Ass in gear to work towards everything i need to be. For me. Us. Love. Trust. Patience dear. Dont forget about me. Or am i simply lovesick for love again?


Contestant number three

Show yourself to me.

Shall you be thrusted upon me.

Oh, the irony.

That i was too blind to see

Whats right in front of me

After all these years.

The very best things in life take lots of time.

We started out as two little kids

Trying to catch a thrill

Oh yeah, we loved a good thrill

Total adrenaline junkies.

You disapproved my method.

It wasted a lot of my life afterall.

Well, in the others’ eyes

Not mine.

I learned more than id anticipated

Or that i was prepared for

During that frightful fall

Like alice in wonderland

Completely engulfed by a world of madness, miracles and mysteries

Utter insanity, where im most happy.

I dont think you could ever understand.

And that scares me.

A story without understanding

Or believing

Is nothing but a mere fairytale.

So i’ll keep this darkness with me

Locked away into the deepest depths of my soul

Hidden and safe, from the innocent

Oh yes, i know i wanted all the answers.

And i know curiosity usually doesnt do the cat any good.

But i couldnt stop.

The hunger for more was surely one of a lion

Indeed, the king of beasts

And while exploring the jungle was definitely a frightening journey

I knew the reward was well worth it.

Whatever it was, i knew in my soul i achieved great things

Maybe i helped lost souls find their wings.

Maybe they felt heaven just for a day

Maybe they remembered from where they came

Maybe it gave them something to think

Its enough for me to believe

That i went down in history

When all those souls think of me

From time to time. And smile.

Oh, my darling. You treat me like im a fool.

Whether i was wide awake or dreaming

I did something even i dont know about.

Oh, sure. It was for your entertainment.

Use me as you will. But you should know by now

My mind is far too creative to not get fullfillment

Out of this absurd life we’ve created

I say we, because lets be honest

We both have a say in what gets played

Am i interesting yet ?

Do people love me yet ?

No, just the thought is comforting.

That even though im a lost cause

It wasnt a complete waste

And when i close my eyes to dream

I get a round of applause

While i sleep and watch the lives of those on the other side.

I dont expect to ever be fully understood.

Dont try because youll drown.

Patiently waiting for someone to embark on a journey on my vicious dark seas to get to me.

Yeah, ive done those things. But do you ask why ? Take the time to really listen ? Open up your mind to the endless possibilities the universe has to offer.

Our imaginaty minds

Can go sky high

Until we fly

Above blue sky

Into new heights

Your rollercoaster ride

My glass empire flight

We here for one more night

It will be alright

When darkness turns to light

Yeah, we will be alright. You and I.

Together in this wild ride.


Perhaps i know what i want. But i simply cant allow it. For the uncertainty of it all. And nobody wants to feel like that. Unsafe. Not secure. Id lose everybody and no one wants to be alone.

Has it ever occured to you that perhaps we’ll never be good enough for anyone else. And that were just two oddballs that desire something so much more. Adventure, meaning, thrills, to be free as a bird. Limits do not exist and opportunities are endless.

This has turned into quite the rambling blabble jabble in which i would have rather avoided. But when you have a million thoughts racing around at once, its hard not to come up with a mess.

I think the vision finally makes sense to me now. I dont know anything though really. I mean i thought i did. A wise man knows he knows nothing. So the show may just be getting started.

Join me on my quest for a happily ever after life: love, laughter, great memories, new quests, new destinations and new realizations, new happiness, new me, new life, new beginning.

No more running around like a chicken. Im done with that. Why should i do anything more than sit back and let it all fall into place? Its hard to trust but baby trust your fate.

Trust is something i dont think ill ever know again. I reply.

Then at least trust the sky. Trust the stars and the clouds and the moon. But especially the sun. For it shall always be there, even in your darkest days. The sky is absolute, it wont ever leave you.

Then i should just marry it. If the sky is the only thing i am guaranteed to have for life. Day after day. Sky. Sky. Sky. Ive always loved the sky.

“Its a damn cold night

Tryna figure out this life

Take me somewhere new

I dont know who you are, but i,

Im with you.”