perfection is.. Simplicity. The rhythm…

perfection is..

The rhythm and the melody.
Two souls recognition and their
musical heart beats.
Safety through their company.
Comfort in the chaotic catastrophe
Luminous, your eyes, gazing
Riding atop the traffic lights and questionable trees.
“Hush girl. Such childish dreams”
But you made them come alive
And I swear I couldnt believe my eyes
Senses heightened, moving through cloud nine
How was something so simple so perfect

How was a complicated, far-fetched, crazy little dream, fulfilled? So easily? Just like that.
Imagination is such a huge blessing. When youre a dreamer, haunted by this cruel world… Better let your inner child guide you through. “Heres to never growing up”

So. Why was a simple task so beautiful and enlightening and just magical through my eyes.
With all these tools we have brought together to the table. We can do whatever our little hearts dreams desires.

A their minds, wishes and imagination complimented eachother quite nicely..


“we can just run them red lights”

red lights, tiesto

the tools are faith, trust, & patience

and he showed  her the universe.
but he needed her to do it with him.

because theirs were the same. it  belonged to them.

they went fishing in the milky way and found something….

fear not

please let this fear not

dwell in our physical temple.

for we made it to the very top

and thats the most far we’ve ever come

please, i tell you, rest your soul.

just lay back and let it go.

rest your heads tonight, nothing will show.

we’ll awake, and behold !

Morning shall come once again

and these memories shall fade.

Dont go to bed angry and decide tomorrows fate.

This darkness always goes.

its just temporary. or else go dose yourself.

Its nothing but a vivid dream

for the travellers and wanderers

lost but not broken.

I wonder where you are still.


I told you not to blame me.

No more excuses

No more stupid dreams

Im waking up now baby

this aint meant to be

I was only floating

You never showed me how to breathe

In a deep sea of the lost and the insanity

my heart was racing far too fast

I would have went to the emergency.

Theres no telling what exactly would have happened to me

Never forget and always believe me

When I say youre everything Ive ever searched for.

The only face I could have lived with in total peace and prosperity

On our beloved porch, feasting off our peach trees

But honey this aint the Jungle Book

And now Im leaving.

I now close the book of lies.

I saw such a hopeful ending.

But my memories of success never did exist.

Because you once left me.


I know we’ll both be okay.

I dont understand. God, I pray….

This reality’s too distorted

And so i cant stay.

What is it to live if youre always afraid?

And then I hear all your words whispered in my ear.

Out of this coma, this is when there will be tears.

may I sleep?

Did I say I was finished?

one thing I always believed in were happy endings.

If there was an ending without love, happiness or commitment, well,

then it never even was the ending. and thats just it.

my mind can sometimes get lost in murky waters.

but to be truly happy and whole, you must endure complete darkness.

so do not worry when it seems my story is resonating too much self pity or hatred. even for me. this stormy chapter may just be the end of a beginning. or vice versa ?

afraid of myself, i hold so much in, fearing manifestation

yet, why not simply just manifest all good things, then ?

Because I am afraid of looking like a fool. The embarrassment.

Im trying to remember God always knows what we need and provides us with just that. Not lusts, desires, or wants.

But seriously whats the difference ? Nobody needs another being or person. We need food, shelter, water and nourishment

Newsflash: when youve spent your life serving others, maybe there does come a time when you need someone to do the same thing for you. I do not mean to boast, Lord knows. But I’m trying really hard so to keep you close. Fantasies and dreams are better than nothing. If I cant have you beside me I’ll dwell in my fabricated selfish reality.

The eagerness and hunger that consumes my entirety, wickedness in whicb I childishly feed, well, God only knows. One day I know He will explain it to me.

Im tired of tests and trials and games. I just want a home and a family to my name Maybe a garden and orchards and lamb. Back to when it was simple. Those child-like memories never cease to fade. I want to know theres something for me, other than this place. Maybe thats why i pretend im in outer space. No more reminants of the moon or dragons I chase. A lifelong void filled. Where are you, anyways…

fight those demons

been around the world in three whole days
searched far and wide for love like mine
yeah i know i cant see whats behind the scenes
so i hope to God its what it seems
But then i hear the voices laughing at me
I dont give a fuck, kinda glad I cant see
All that must hide in defeat and in pride
You showed me so much in which then became weak
why am i left alone in dangerous seas?
Why has God thrown me in battlefield streets?
My requests were not difficult, just simplicity
To get what we want we must firmly believe
That maybe beneath the absurdity
To bask in the radiance of uttermost peace
We must first lose our minds and go wild and crazy
That nothing remains, just bleak uncertainty
Time tells a tale of all thats unseen
The whimpers of souls selling themselves rather cheap
But traces are left behind, pieces of me
You wont know whats gone until dusk turns to dawn
Dont back down, you can do it baby
We are the remains, turned into the refugees
I gathered a backpack to take on journey.
But when I gathered all the pieces, the puzzle was for you, and not within me


even my psychotic crab feeds…..

who the hell do you trust when you cant even trust yourself?
or your damn pet crustacean?
minor flaws, but.. I know how to love unconditionally.

thank you God for your gifts and your blessings

bridges and walls and division

in response to something i just read

or perhaps my addition or reflection or whatever you wish to call it

there are people who unite and people who divide.

so basically they either build bridges or build walls.

i guess this can be individually speaking. but i also believe there are those who divide people purposely out of either hatred or jealousy or anger or whatever it may be.

looking back its painful to see so many people whom i thought cared about me, build walls between myself and whats important to me. injecting fear and doubt and anger into me any way they could. maybe they were unaware of it but i suspect this is not the case.

and then there are times when they do both. which i have yet to have the time to analyze why this is. maybe out of guilt ? maybe out of lack of knowledge ? or simply part of the plan ?

no no, i am not looking for another opportunity to blame anyone other than myself. but coming to this realization i wish i had this understood beforehand.

but then there are also unfortunate circumstances that seem nothing less than evil works of Satan himself. All planned out as he tries to destroy anything fantastically beautiful. then one thing lands us onto the next and we are force fed negative outcomes, emotions, environments and thoughts.

i admire those who build bridges. they build bridges for others, that leads them to something positive that betters them as a person or their life. spiritually, emotionally or mentally. We dont need no crappy outside sources directing our show. choosing the menu. or writing the script.

be weary. be cautious. and be thoughtful. and also intuitive. i need to listen a little better to my soul. i need to stop disregarding the puzzle pieces as a whole. i need to wait for the good things that come after a storm. i need to stop feeding demons and feed all that is love. I need to count all my blessings and gifts and work hard. i need to pray and listen and have a strong relationship with God. Trust he wont give me more than i can handle and he knows what I need – and will provide.

i hate that ive had so little faith in Him the past little while. but he knows I didnt mean it.

God gives us all the tools and lessons we need to fulfill our needs and duties.

but we also get what we deserve. he gifts us accordingly. so work work work work work. i know i lack that extra push sometimes but maybe its for a reason. come to think of it, everything has a reason.

anyways. i want to help build more bridges and staircases and pathways and steps. i want to help people grow and be happy and find goodness and purpose and wholeness. i even want to plant more seeds – realistically and metaphorically speaking.  start a garden, start foundations that help others begin growth. Growth is beautiful to watch. metamorphosis, change, building.

i want to be so spiritually alive that even ghosts become undead. no wonder this place sparks me so much joy.

then i realize i am the Lion from W.O.O. following the yellow brick road because all he needs is courage. They all have the determination to seek already obviously. theyve got the enemies trying to mess up their plans.

start connecting. BE the connection. nothing is more gratifying than connections of all sorts. maybe thats why my english exam was on that topic. Hello – here we have just connected the reason for that exam topic.

respect for the easy use of a variety of choices for that one. so happy i can now focus on MY method of learning, writing and growing. so many people choose to never think outside the box. now i know why its called ‘square’. some people ! well, its more tolerated and accepted to say the least. but im attracted to way cooler parallelograms. those who do what they want and say what they mean regardless of whether or not others will be accepting. and those who challenge others to do the same. so, are you going to believe it to see it? or see it to believe it ? a broader imagination and mind creates a broader range of capabilities  and opportunities.

please remain focused. please try to do just one thing at a time. please set your goals and believe in yourself. also please always be patient. and dont be quick to blame. sometimes we come to an understanding of things later on, so explanations  are not always a necessity. just do yo thang and no one needs to know why. those who matter will later make sense of it all. you know, if you couldnt explain it to a square, not ib a million years.squares and under should avoid the use of this approach.

do what you love and love what you do. never stop being the beautiful patchwork that creates all of you. you cant make people change, they either change out of choice, or lessons and growth. you can set a foundation but they do the rest.

i tried not lose track of the main point that i wanted to get across here. i seem to be babbling away again.

key points:

-you get what you give. but you should never stop giving more.

-connections are vital in all parallelograms

-patience, privacy, and trusting yourself is encouraged (and appreciated)

-initiate a growth. plant a seed. promote change.

-challenge your limits and dont settle for anything less than your dreams.

-seekers should cease to never stop the seek

-dont strive for perfect just strive for whats worth it


the answer should be yes yes yes yes yes

just remember to keep planting more seeeeeeds.

rant over !!! or should i say, rambling… dont want this to carry on and on and on.  maybe i should narrow it down to explain it more simpler.

and then it came to me.





fight for faith or say fuck this


i dont know what to think anymore
devil on my shoulder telling me youre a demon who was meant to tear me the fuck apart
and then my heart reminding me of the times the odds were stacked against us but fate fought for us
i want to believe my psychosis
that my soul worked hard to defeat what we lost
but im giving it my all
while you cant seem to keep even just a simple promise
so tell me
do i let it go ?


aaaand good morning.

Sunday already ?
But it was Friday literally thirty seconds ago.
Sun a’risin once again
Compelling the moon to move to the side
It’s been raining couple days.
I didn’t mind.
But today I definitely would appreciate some sunshine
I’d probably bask in all its glorious rays this time
Rather than shy away from my small window and shut off all the lights
Cause I choose happiness and Im feelin just fine.

But I think I need to rest instead.
Few hours at least, then review todays goals I have written out and pasted by my bed.
But first I’ll listen to the robins and smoke a cigarette.


good night

today i saw things in a brand new light
it brought me sadness but also delight
knowing it was up to me to make it right.
damn, i really must have lost it, my marbles that is.
but I kinda feel like im blessed to have such great dreams and sights.
never would have been happy with something rational
i bask in the idea that youre so much more near.
actually, it feels like youre everywhere.
Dear God, am I foolish for ignoring fear?