Ramblings – To Tango. Expressing my thoughts and opinions

So it takes two to tango, eh ?

Well guess what? I fucking hate tango dancing. Even more so, those who can tango all flawlessly and in a form of pure love and connection makes me sick.

Fuck them for reminding me I suck at dancing. But most importantly, the ones who blatantly prance around, supposedly unaware that a lot of us are failing fuck ups as we try to tango with our even more clueless and impatient counterpart.

Two to tango, HA ! Please..Sure, a new dance with a new lover is all fine and dandy up to a point.

To put it simply, Tangoing and my chosen partner lacked so many elements which were vital, makes Tangoing a happy and pleasurable experience. Ultimately though the fucking tango experience with said individual was one more so of guilt and frustration. I grew so sick of it all lately that ifreed myself from the grasp, control and restraints that this so called tango bullshit had me in.

Oh two of us were Tangoing alright. There was effort on both parts, but not long after, I grew tired of this dumb dance and the very person whom stared back at me. neither of us were perfect at the dumb unison of this so called tango dance but his attitude towards me and my flaws or mishaps took its toll.

You wanna fucking tango dance, go find some pathetically eager woman and see if you’re any happier then

Who the fuck even does that shit anyway? Fools. You’ll all be heartbroken once someone gets tired of the same repetition of the same god damn routine and your precious little pact is split. Or who knows, maybe you’ll grow tired of the same damn pair of eyes you are doomed to forever look into.

So I find a little safe haven, hide from all the wishful tangoers who will all most likely experience disappointment sooner or later. Clouded is their judgement, who wants to tango with the same damn person till the end of time? To my surprise, quite a lot of people. But really? Soulmates, known as the human beings you are meant to spend your entire lives with.. HORSE SHIT. There are far too many people in this planet to say that there is ONE made just for you. There are faaar too many possible connections that could be better than the last.

Anyway so here I can do my own little tango dancing, proving it does not necessarily take two to tango. In fact, I find it much more satisfyingly and fulfilling when I am in solidarity, no one to please but myself,performing my very own tango which is far more successful to me than my last attempt to tango and needing to focus not only on yourself but he who is at your side.
to ‘tango’ or to ‘dance’ metaphorically speaking, represents the relationship between the partners and their pairings. I visualize a ‘dancefloor’ representing the entire earth on this planet. We see relationships that look perfect on the outside as couples are all gaga over their boyfriend or girlfriend and envy the couple that no ones ever seen argue, the couple that is so aesthetically pleasing to the eye that for our own sake we hope such couples never break up so we can forever admire the physical attractiveness that seems so meant to be  . shameless PDA is widely performed,like since when do we want to witness young kids dry hump on a lamppost? Does anyone understand the importance of being subtle with your fucking PDA ? Sick.

So one can tango alone, building a positive relationship with one’s self, developing positive views on self image and self worth. I believe you gotta master Tangoing solo before doing so with a partner.

Anyways fuck all this tango talk. My fingertips randomly typed up the content cause in my mind it was cool. But its probably not.

Fucking tango dancing. What are we, Mexican? I’d rather find a partner who can successfully play, shitfaced and fun – its actually new, since the original game called, drink till you’re a dick, failed to reel anyone in.
NOTE !!!!! I am not actually angry whatsoever. The tone was meant to be more of a humorous addition, like when old grandpa sits and complains, and the family finds this as a form of entertainment, his choice of words silly, and has something to say just about anything. Love that old fart.
Such a weird entry. Amazing the thought process is, I gave this no thought and to be honest although I am not very satisfied with this entry, the amount of focus that came with it was too significant to just dispose of it.

My volunteer experience in the work field – long lost draft – retrieved

It started with someone whom I perrceived as the Ultimate Champion
He had it all. The looks, the nice big guns, the ability to do so much socializing in so little Time.
I was in complete Lust
I was in complete Denial.
Which manifested eventually into Anger and Fear.
I played with Fire. I played wirh Ice and I played with the Air and finally the Water

I knew I wasn’t just different. I knew I could potentially create something out of all the madness. I mean, i had before, after all, shocked myself when my thoughts manifested right in front of me.

So, the reality of it was, that I had just acquired some important informaation that would further me down my road to Understanding, Knowledge and finally, Enlightnent.

By taking everything I knew and applying the knowledge in the correcr aeeas, I could potentially create a brand new world of data, not for myself, but for those in need of whatever it is , whether its New System Proposals or Prosperity of a Region.

I  pledge Allegiance.to the Unity of all Nations, under Freedom and Liberty,
To the Law.that all Knowledge is
Of Metaphysical Matters and Time, and in which does not depict a Reality other than mty own, and finally, to keep the Govern’s best interest always at Heart.

These words are my heart and soul.

“I want you to know With everything i wont let this go These words are my heart and soul I’ll hold onto this moment you know Cause i bleed my heart out to show And i wont let go.” 1. Depth. Free of anxiety. Gentle. TPB. Artistic. Passion. Words of cheese. Understanding of the chaos. Healthy. Inexperienced. Damaged. Paranoid. Depressed. Attention seeking. Selfish convenience. Family oriented. Mother relationship. Connection at a further level 2. Slow. Tons in common. High assurity. No questioning. Clingy. Great experience. Motivated. Possibly superficial. No artistic value? Unnappreciative of meaning. Rushing. No real depth. Jealous. Misunderstands space. Little nervous. Strong. Big. Safety and secure. Does not fuck around. No second guesses. Short term. 2 lessons – a million new ideas, desires and understanding of what i need. Bad. Better. Please bring the best, now. Or was it here all along ? Babe, as time goes on, it doesnt feel so wrong Im not perfect enough though, and, youre mean You understand it, but only to a degree And why are you so ashamed of me Youre lucky this planet hates me. You almost lost me. In reality you dont deserve me. I hope one day we both change. For the better. So that our lifelong friendship turns into our lifetime dream. We are the very same. Yet total opposites. And now its dawning on me Ass in gear to work towards everything i need to be. For me. Us. Love. Trust. Patience dear. Dont forget about me. Or am i simply lovesick for love again?

 

Contestant number three

Show yourself to me.

Shall you be thrusted upon me.

Oh, the irony.

That i was too blind to see

Whats right in front of me

After all these years.

The very best things in life take lots of time.

We started out as two little kids

Trying to catch a thrill

Oh yeah, we loved a good thrill

Total adrenaline junkies.

You disapproved my method.

It wasted a lot of my life afterall.

Well, in the others’ eyes

Not mine.

I learned more than id anticipated

Or that i was prepared for

During that frightful fall

Like alice in wonderland

Completely engulfed by a world of madness, miracles and mysteries

Utter insanity, where im most happy.

I dont think you could ever understand.

And that scares me.

A story without understanding

Or believing

Is nothing but a mere fairytale.

So i’ll keep this darkness with me

Locked away into the deepest depths of my soul

Hidden and safe, from the innocent

Oh yes, i know i wanted all the answers.

And i know curiosity usually doesnt do the cat any good.

But i couldnt stop.

The hunger for more was surely one of a lion

Indeed, the king of beasts

And while exploring the jungle was definitely a frightening journey

I knew the reward was well worth it.

Whatever it was, i knew in my soul i achieved great things

Maybe i helped lost souls find their wings.

Maybe they felt heaven just for a day

Maybe they remembered from where they came

Maybe it gave them something to think

Its enough for me to believe

That i went down in history

When all those souls think of me

From time to time. And smile.

Oh, my darling. You treat me like im a fool.

Whether i was wide awake or dreaming

I did something even i dont know about.

Oh, sure. It was for your entertainment.

Use me as you will. But you should know by now

My mind is far too creative to not get fullfillment

Out of this absurd life we’ve created

I say we, because lets be honest

We both have a say in what gets played

Am i interesting yet ?

Do people love me yet ?

No, just the thought is comforting.

That even though im a lost cause

It wasnt a complete waste

And when i close my eyes to dream

I get a round of applause

While i sleep and watch the lives of those on the other side.

I dont expect to ever be fully understood.

Dont try because youll drown.

Patiently waiting for someone to embark on a journey on my vicious dark seas to get to me.

Yeah, ive done those things. But do you ask why ? Take the time to really listen ? Open up your mind to the endless possibilities the universe has to offer.

Our imaginaty minds

Can go sky high

Until we fly

Above blue sky

Into new heights

Your rollercoaster ride

My glass empire flight

We here for one more night

It will be alright

When darkness turns to light

Yeah, we will be alright. You and I.

Together in this wild ride.

 

Perhaps i know what i want. But i simply cant allow it. For the uncertainty of it all. And nobody wants to feel like that. Unsafe. Not secure. Id lose everybody and no one wants to be alone.

Has it ever occured to you that perhaps we’ll never be good enough for anyone else. And that were just two oddballs that desire something so much more. Adventure, meaning, thrills, to be free as a bird. Limits do not exist and opportunities are endless.

This has turned into quite the rambling blabble jabble in which i would have rather avoided. But when you have a million thoughts racing around at once, its hard not to come up with a mess.

I think the vision finally makes sense to me now. I dont know anything though really. I mean i thought i did. A wise man knows he knows nothing. So the show may just be getting started.

Join me on my quest for a happily ever after life: love, laughter, great memories, new quests, new destinations and new realizations, new happiness, new me, new life, new beginning.

No more running around like a chicken. Im done with that. Why should i do anything more than sit back and let it all fall into place? Its hard to trust but baby trust your fate.

Trust is something i dont think ill ever know again. I reply.

Then at least trust the sky. Trust the stars and the clouds and the moon. But especially the sun. For it shall always be there, even in your darkest days. The sky is absolute, it wont ever leave you.

Then i should just marry it. If the sky is the only thing i am guaranteed to have for life. Day after day. Sky. Sky. Sky. Ive always loved the sky.

“Its a damn cold night

Tryna figure out this life

Take me somewhere new

I dont know who you are, but i,

Im with you.”