“I want you to know With everything i wont let this go These words are my heart and soul I’ll hold onto this moment you know Cause i bleed my heart out to show And i wont let go.” 1. Depth. Free of anxiety. Gentle. TPB. Artistic. Passion. Words of cheese. Understanding of the chaos. Healthy. Inexperienced. Damaged. Paranoid. Depressed. Attention seeking. Selfish convenience. Family oriented. Mother relationship. Connection at a further level 2. Slow. Tons in common. High assurity. No questioning. Clingy. Great experience. Motivated. Possibly superficial. No artistic value? Unnappreciative of meaning. Rushing. No real depth. Jealous. Misunderstands space. Little nervous. Strong. Big. Safety and secure. Does not fuck around. No second guesses. Short term. 2 lessons – a million new ideas, desires and understanding of what i need. Bad. Better. Please bring the best, now. Or was it here all along ? Babe, as time goes on, it doesnt feel so wrong Im not perfect enough though, and, youre mean You understand it, but only to a degree And why are you so ashamed of me Youre lucky this planet hates me. You almost lost me. In reality you dont deserve me. I hope one day we both change. For the better. So that our lifelong friendship turns into our lifetime dream. We are the very same. Yet total opposites. And now its dawning on me Ass in gear to work towards everything i need to be. For me. Us. Love. Trust. Patience dear. Dont forget about me. Or am i simply lovesick for love again?
Contestant number three
Show yourself to me.
Shall you be thrusted upon me.
Oh, the irony.
That i was too blind to see
Whats right in front of me
After all these years.
The very best things in life take lots of time.
We started out as two little kids
Trying to catch a thrill
Oh yeah, we loved a good thrill
Total adrenaline junkies.
You disapproved my method.
It wasted a lot of my life afterall.
Well, in the others’ eyes
I learned more than id anticipated
Or that i was prepared for
During that frightful fall
Like alice in wonderland
Completely engulfed by a world of madness, miracles and mysteries
Utter insanity, where im most happy.
I dont think you could ever understand.
And that scares me.
A story without understanding
Is nothing but a mere fairytale.
So i’ll keep this darkness with me
Locked away into the deepest depths of my soul
Hidden and safe, from the innocent
Oh yes, i know i wanted all the answers.
And i know curiosity usually doesnt do the cat any good.
But i couldnt stop.
The hunger for more was surely one of a lion
Indeed, the king of beasts
And while exploring the jungle was definitely a frightening journey
I knew the reward was well worth it.
Whatever it was, i knew in my soul i achieved great things
Maybe i helped lost souls find their wings.
Maybe they felt heaven just for a day
Maybe they remembered from where they came
Maybe it gave them something to think
Its enough for me to believe
That i went down in history
When all those souls think of me
From time to time. And smile.
Oh, my darling. You treat me like im a fool.
Whether i was wide awake or dreaming
I did something even i dont know about.
Oh, sure. It was for your entertainment.
Use me as you will. But you should know by now
My mind is far too creative to not get fullfillment
Out of this absurd life we’ve created
I say we, because lets be honest
We both have a say in what gets played
Am i interesting yet ?
Do people love me yet ?
No, just the thought is comforting.
That even though im a lost cause
It wasnt a complete waste
And when i close my eyes to dream
I get a round of applause
While i sleep and watch the lives of those on the other side.
I dont expect to ever be fully understood.
Dont try because youll drown.
Patiently waiting for someone to embark on a journey on my vicious dark seas to get to me.
Yeah, ive done those things. But do you ask why ? Take the time to really listen ? Open up your mind to the endless possibilities the universe has to offer.
Our imaginaty minds
Can go sky high
Until we fly
Above blue sky
Into new heights
Your rollercoaster ride
My glass empire flight
We here for one more night
It will be alright
When darkness turns to light
Yeah, we will be alright. You and I.
Together in this wild ride.
Perhaps i know what i want. But i simply cant allow it. For the uncertainty of it all. And nobody wants to feel like that. Unsafe. Not secure. Id lose everybody and no one wants to be alone.
Has it ever occured to you that perhaps we’ll never be good enough for anyone else. And that were just two oddballs that desire something so much more. Adventure, meaning, thrills, to be free as a bird. Limits do not exist and opportunities are endless.
This has turned into quite the rambling blabble jabble in which i would have rather avoided. But when you have a million thoughts racing around at once, its hard not to come up with a mess.
I think the vision finally makes sense to me now. I dont know anything though really. I mean i thought i did. A wise man knows he knows nothing. So the show may just be getting started.
Join me on my quest for a happily ever after life: love, laughter, great memories, new quests, new destinations and new realizations, new happiness, new me, new life, new beginning.
No more running around like a chicken. Im done with that. Why should i do anything more than sit back and let it all fall into place? Its hard to trust but baby trust your fate.
Trust is something i dont think ill ever know again. I reply.
Then at least trust the sky. Trust the stars and the clouds and the moon. But especially the sun. For it shall always be there, even in your darkest days. The sky is absolute, it wont ever leave you.
Then i should just marry it. If the sky is the only thing i am guaranteed to have for life. Day after day. Sky. Sky. Sky. Ive always loved the sky.
“Its a damn cold night
Tryna figure out this life
Take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are, but i,
Im with you.”