Got lots of reading done today. Brand new information stored in my brain. Each time, becoming one step closer to my fulfilled destiny. A long and winding staircase, ascending. I feel i am completely enlightened although i know there is always something new to be learned.
Im still so confused with todays acquired knowledge. I have failed to apply to most important piece of it all. Sure, it would explain a lot. But giving into that thought i am hesitant, for nothing is certain, and im terrified of being deceived.
I live in a terribly contradictive and paradoxal reality. Its exciting, mystical but not comprehendable at times. In fact, for years i thought i had some sort of entitlement, or significant importance, either that or i was suffering from a form of schizophrenia, a mental case on the verge of being institutionalized.
Although my true first acknowledgement of my understanding and awakening occured around a year ago, little did I know that for years i was actually practicing everything i was about to learn. All those days and nights of tedious, at times gruesome experiences and walking the streets for days with nowhere to go. Nothing made sense to me and i became scared of the only world i knew. Completely stripped of all my faith, trust, and my simple black and white perspective of the world. Out the window. I questioned everyone and everything. And fighting my obscene thoughts was exhausting. I lived everyday in fear and shame, confining myself indoors. Away from… whatever it WAS out there.
I knew in my heart that all the puzzle pieces had a meaning and i wasnt simply just a psycho. The feeling that it would all make sense to me one day was robust. I had a ravenous curiosity and hunger for more. Even when death knocked on my door more than once, i never backed down. I simply had to grasp the concept of this THING, PLACE, EXISTENCE, in which scared the fuck out of me and was intriguing all at the same time.
And thats exactly what i did. Over and over and over again until finally i was led to the beginning of the truth and grasped some concept. The point is to never stop reading. I used to feel cheated after i found out there were so many others like me and that perhaps i wasnt so special after all. But indeed we are, and knowing that so many others can relate, and are going through the same, and that im not alone and completely losing my mind, it made me very very happy.
So, ive definitely reached a great place in my spiritual growth. My understanding of my purpose and just everything has never been better. Theres still so much i need to discover though, about myself and those who are close to me. I want to spread the word and help any way i can. In fact, your journey is entirely up to you. YOU decide whether or not to keep going. I almost gave up but im glad i didnt. I was tricked by a wrongful source which led me to almost bend and break.
For laying inside my childish figment of imagination is the only thing that makes sense and inspires me. I hope other creative thinkers embrace their gifts rather than toss them aside feeling sheepish. Listen to your soul. It will guide you.
If we were out for coffee.. i would ask you to tell me your story.
Enjoy some quotes from the one and only albert einstein. Great minds think alike !
Encourage others to seek their path.
A wise man knows not to share his secrets.
“Now i understand why you pushed me away
I looked far and now i see, that the only one i needed was me.”
The process is freightning, exciting, disbelieving, surreal, amazing and tiring all at the same time. When your soul is prepared it will begin. Brace yoself ! P.S. self confidence is KEY to the success of ascension as well as filtering out all the negative that could potentially present itself during the process.
Peace love and light ! ♡